chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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