Plan B is the new Plan A
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
