Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no, he came in my armpit
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
