I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There r osticjed everywhere
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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