so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
