i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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