he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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