Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
