Kiss
Puke
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
