Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize