Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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