woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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