i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am one with the molecules
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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