I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
