I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
