why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
