can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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