I bet he comes in French.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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