My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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