Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
