She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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