just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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