how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
