How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
