it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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