im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
