Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
