Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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