I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
