So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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