Swine flu is the new snow day.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
