Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My pussy is not your playground.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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