No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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