? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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