btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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