I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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