Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
