you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
