the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
