why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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