dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
