they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
