Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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