the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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