I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
