I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
