i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
