Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
