I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
