do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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