What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
