I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
