You really coming over, don't trick.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
