how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
