so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Randomize
