my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
