That's intense
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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