fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
