May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dignity is for republicans.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
