I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
