This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
