i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
