why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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