your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize