hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
