its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
