I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
