I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
