i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
