No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
