How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
