I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize