Me. At least after what I've been through.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
