but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
