I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize